Day 15
Ahhh half a month later and I'm on a damn roll! I kid, I am struggling to put pen to paper I really don't know what to write. I've also modified my proccess of writing these daily posts to attempt to capture my day. I usually begin when I get to my desk and add bits and bobs throughout the day.
This morning not much has happened, woke up, shower and at my desk. I've been thinking of ways to ascertain financial independants; so a lot of my thought has been dedicated there. I also need to finish sorting and cleaning up my room at some point today so that'll be fun. I got some work tasks to do so I'll leave it here for now.
Day 14
A lot happened, well you can say, not a lot happened today. Why is it your body wants extra sleep during work days, super annoying. Then my net wasn't working and that took ¾ hours for it to come back online. Luckily I got a good data plan for my phone, so all was not lost.
Then from there, the feeling of tiredness and tiredness really set me back a lot, it added to the lethargy but after taking a chair from the kitchen, refreshening myself up and then stretching I was all set to go. Also eating helped out a lot.
Day 13
So, I made a mistake in my last post, I had Day 11 and subsequently used it twice. None of you, out of all of my one fan, failed to inform me lol and I didn't realise there was a 'Next' button located at the bottom of the screen (I just assumed it was continuous) so that's cool. Been at it for almost two weeks now. So yeah just wanted to clear that up. Which has gotten me thinking shall I rearrange the way the posts are organised, to have the latest at the top...I'll see.
Day 12
Today was my first real 'normal' day. Lockdown is technically over, and the family wanted to go for a walk. So we all did. It was really quite enjoyable being out in the open, soaking in the sun, fresh air and violent winds. Saw some horses and cows as well as the school of the ruling class.
Overall it was pleasant. But that did mean I sacrificed my usual routine, any time spent being productive as I spent most of my day with my family and going for a 2 or so hour walk haha. I'd say it was worth it, I got to really get my mind out of everything and got to relax, mingled with friends and family for the first time in ages (out of my damn house).
I am getting quite tired, hence the shoddy post this evening but hey, at least I wrote something unlike last Sunday lol.
Day 11
Today, my God, today was a tough day if I don't say so myself. Let's start from the top: 12AM, I went out for the first time in awhile met some friends, caught up with some old faces and started out as decent. As the night dragged on I wasn't too happy and to be honest I just wanted to go back home. Then as I was being dropped off home by a friend, I had a very enjoyable conversation with him which last just over an hour. Honestly it pretty much saved the night for me. At this point I get into bed and it's around half 3. I'm on my phone and see the Disney + app. “I want to watch Hamilton” I said to myself, so I did (I regret nothing) as I get to one of my favourite numbers, I look at the time and it's really late. Around 4:40 if I recall correctly, so I decide to call it. By the time I'm ready to sleep I feel a migrane coming over me and it's 5. I sleep. Only to wake up at 10AM.
Day 10
The big 1 0, double digits, I'm pretty chuffed that I got this far. Yes, yes I know the patting on the back is getting a bit annoying I mean I'm only writing nonsense everyday; it isn't that hard. BUT it means something to me and that's all that matters ahah.
Well in all honesty today I feel pretty good, a contributing factor is the fact that my IKEA desk drawers finally came (AFTER 3 WEEKS!!) and I get to build them at some point today (I still need a good chair though) which has its merits provided it all goes smoothly. So for the first time since March I'm going to have a proper sitting desk, my body will thank me for this greatly no doubt. I'm hoping my productivity shall improve also and I can start doing the stuff I wanted to.
Day 9
So, back to normal today, slept as usual and woke up as usual. But I didn't want to write too early today. Wanted to let my thoughts mellow and reflect a little on things. I've been feeling an increase of stress in regards to some decisions I have to make in my life. I don't remember when I stopped handling stress well, maybe when it become life impacting but that's not to say I'm going to breakdown and curl up in a ball because unfortunately – or fortunately depending how you look at it – I can't reallly afford that luxury. Time waits for no man as they say. So I just got to buckle down and think about my future, fight past the stress, the overwhelming cold waves of the ocean swallowing me whole not allowing me to breath. It feels like I don't have time to think about things either which doesn't help nor the people to talk to. So I'm even more in my head about things.
But I shall persevere because I just have to do so.
Day 8
Today was especially difficult to wake up, mainly because I slept at 3 which I haven't done in awhile. I did watch a film for the first time in ages, it was enjoyable but it did infringe upon my routine which isn't ideal for my new attempted routine. But I managed to stay off of my phone, gave my mind its due right to think. If it's spent occupied in chat then it has less time spent on thinking. Granted this blog as been on the ol'noggin quite a bit, so I do wish to start focusing on other things and projects I have in mind.
Most of my day was occupied with work and to be real these are the days I find the most difficult, the feeling that my life force is being drained for someone's dream (yes, I know its rather cliché) but it's rooted deep within me, the need to do more. I need to start taking things more seriously. I need to dedicate more time to things I feel merit them, however I can't be overwhelmed at the sight of anothers' success. Its quite the predicament.
Day 7
Wow, its been a whole ass week already, a part of me is proud to have done this non-stop for an entire week. It doesn't sound like much I know but it is for me. Being this consistent over a task that isn't that important shows me that I have the capacity for it, that I pushed through when I wanted to quit.
It's apart of my new aims in life of attempting to build more of a productive life. To couple intention with action, I mean it took me awhile to even get to the point where I'm writing on a daily basis and I've had this idea since April/May. I'm getting close to the age where I can observe my last 10 years and have the probability of regretting my actions over some of them, this independing realisation of responsibility and accountability has entered the fray. I don't want to be in my 30s and look back on my 20s and think “Man I wish I did something other than work during that time.”
Day 6
As I awoke, I spent little time on my phone (sort of a new rule I have now) I rushed forth to my think chamber (yes, its my shower) and it offered me a lot of clarity on my motivations of writing. I started this endeavour almost a week ago now, and thought about doing it far longer. What really came to mind is about how nonchalant and blasé I've been about all of this, despite being something I wanted to do. I guess it quite sums me up as a person, putting very little into things I do in life. That paired with my other unfavourable characteristic and you wonder how I get anything done.