Day 2514
I'm quite happy with how I've managed to post what I owed, I got to write a few random pieces, I don't know if they're any good but they are now in the ether of the internet. I guess that's how you get better by posting your shit out there and see what sticks and what doesn't. Although I still feel like this platform is still a bubble, step removed from the mainstream, I also feel like the community is smaller than how it was during covid. Who knows really, I've been thinking about publishing beyond these walls and maybe going a bit more mainstream but there's always that aspect of fear holding me back. What if it truly isn't any good. But why should that matter deep down. I'm just doing this for the love of it. Realistically even if no one views this would it stop me from posting? No.
#Chapter25
Day 2513
Well more I hurt my back. I'm not even old but I hurt it bad, but not so bad where it's unbearable but bad enough where it hurts when I move. It's really annoying because it wasn't even the backs fault but another body part. I'm trying to get healthy and started working out again where this isn't ideal but it's annoying because it's not even the fault of a body part but an external injury.
Fucking fragile shit.
#Chapter25
Day 2512
What do I do when I don't know what to write? Do I post ramblings about my day to fill my quota? It's hard to always have insights on the fly. Do I post nothing and let that knaw at me? It's hard to be creative just like that...the words to come to me like they used to and when they do they're eager to leave me stranded. I find it hard to find the time to put thought to paper. Perhaps I need to be quicker with capturing them.
#Chapter25
Day 2511
So I'm aware I've been absent this past week. What can I say; work has been busy, home life has been busy so unfortunately those things took a bit of a priority. So I'm looking to get back into the swing of things and resume our regular scheduled programming lol
#Chapter25
Day 2510
Being creative is super hard. Like one moment I have a bunch of thoughts and ideas, seems like walking really helps my creative process. The mundane aspect helps. The ambient music or noise on top of that. Then much like a dream as soon as I'm back in reality it's gone. I can't recall the concept or feeling of the moment of inspiration.
Day 2509
So I feel like I'm slowly starting to find a balance between the new shit I want to do, weekly tasks and project work. In the past I've realised I've gone all in and I end up burning myself out. Try to change the way I am and the way I function but the truth is I'm a very easy going person but more importantly I procrastinate like hell. So I'm finding that right balance to things. Instead of making myself write everyday I'll write ¾ times a week and that's replicated in other aspects too.
Day 2508
I miss me.
I miss who I am and who I could have been.
I miss thee.
Who you were and what could have been.
I miss us.
The trust and the overwhelming lust.
Withering youth, expelled to dust.
No way out, no way home.
Forced to forge.
Imagination lost.
Who are we.
Where have I gone.
#Chapter25
Day 2507
Today. Well today started like every other, straggled myself to get out of bed. The waning of my alarm forcing myself to re-enter my body. I looked around. Disappointed. The morning has come, alas, the weekend has officially ended. I waddled out of bed into the bathroom. Sealing my fate. I must now begin the week. Saddened. This job once filled me with hope and desire to succeed. But like all work that feeling slowly wears off and me along with it.
Day 2506
Well today has been a day of reflection and chilling. So after the new years I listed a bunch of tasks I'd like to get done during the week, and honestly I realised I'm doing the most! Like I'm wanting to build sustainable habits but the barrier to entry is way too high! Like how am I supposed to do task x 3 days a week whilst working a full time job etc. So I re-did things and pushed other things back so I can plan properly. So I cut down the frequency of some more arduous tasks and pushed back some others. It's the only way I see myself being able to sustain all things.
Day 2505
Well had a pretty cool day yesterday, it wasn't too eventful I did end up going to my parents in the evening and saw some family had a good laugh, hadn't seen some of them in ages.
Other than that honestly it was quite dry and boring. God I really need something to do otherwise than rewatching shows for the 100th time lol