Day 2528 Growing responsibilities suck. Honestly really suck. I was thinking about how vastly my life has changed over the last 10 years and it is insane. I now have rent, bills for a small token of freedom. Grow up and move out they said. It'll be good for you they said. That freedom just ties you down and you end up paying someone else's mortgage or being another stream of income for a bank. Now I'm not saying leech off of your parents but I'm saying be patient and don't rush into things.

When you're in your early 20s you want to rush and get ahead in life but I look back and think was it worth it. We all need money ofc but is the stress worth it. Sacrificing everything around you just to work doesn't seem like a good deal and I don't even work that hard. I've seen some people around who spent 90% of their day working. Just because there's nothing else to do.

It's sad I suppose but honestly I wish to make the next 10 years of my life fruitful. I rather be happy and healthy and enjoy my time even if it's wasting away watching TV. I shudder to think that I'll be waking up tired to go to work a job which I dislike, a life where friends and family was a focus but now I barely have time to rest.

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Day 2527 I'm in disbelief really. March is coming to an end. I know we all keep saying how quickly time is flying but damn February and March have breezed by. I couldn't even tell you what happened. Life is passing by so quickly and I'm actually over it. I feel like I've entered the boring phase of my life. People expect you to be doing stuff and adulting but like I'm over it. I want to be lazy after work and waste my days away.

Maybe that's why my days are fleeting....

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Day 2526 Sometimes I don't know what to write. So I don't write and so I don't post and other times it hits me like a bolt of lightening. Then there are moments where it permeates for a couple of days and I'll jot it down. I understand it's my own fault because I dedicate no time to it like I used to in the past. It's like if I can be done in 3 mins or less I'll write and post if not then days until my next shitty thought.

I understand it's my own fault this is something I want to do but I dedicate no time to it. I feel like in the past it was very much on the forefront of my mind but as I've aged other priorities have gotten in the way. There are a few things I want to do but I feel like it get usurped by things that don't require much brain power. I get it, once I'm home from work I don't really feel like doing anything but honestly why? I know I have capacity but it just falls by the wayside, ultimately.

Much to think about, routines to tinker until I find my perfect one. Then that'll need changing too!

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Day 2525 We are indeed so fragile. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. One tweak and there goes your life. Someone says something and there goes your offense. Let's be real you had no spiritually in the first place. We go about this earth like we mean something. We'll be dead before long. Forgotten by those ones who love us. Even those we cherish so much can be dead to us. Walk with some humility. Be sombre. Remember those below you. You never know who's going to handle you, Hereafter.

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Day 2524 Life truly has a habit of kicking you in the nuts unexpectedly, and then giving you immense relief. It's a struggle at times no doubt, the emotion have a field day and plan to ruin your day. Then there's the humans who try to ruin you. Self interest runs rampant. They get upset at you when you have their energy. Then the tests come after that to guage your reaction. It's a shitty situation but that's where your emotions need to be under control. But mine were not in that moment but I handled it better than last time.

Sometimes you have malicious ways to deal with it but it's better to let it go and be normal. An unbothered attitude is the best attitude one can argue. Especially when it isn't that deep. Stoop to their level. But there's no need to go further.

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Day 2523 Where do you go from here. You've got a lot to achieve and a long way to go. But it feels difficult at times and you just want to give up. We've gotten too comfortable with your life. Safe job. Safe house. Safe life.

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Day 2522 Don't you find it enjoyable. When it all comes together. The moment. The time. The feeling of greatness. Sike. We're all on the cusp of nothingness. Born to be forgotten. Our achievements lost to time. Left in the darkness.

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Day 2521 I feel clearer. I feel better. I feel slightly refreshed but honestly for the first time in a long time I don't feel shit or down in the dumps. I'm not sure what's different but I don't feel hazed and I just overall feel healthier. Earlier in the day I felt like shit, didn't sleep enough and was tired. When I got home from work same thing just tired. But now I don't know what changed. I just feel alive.

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Day 2521 Tiredness. I feel it in my bones. In my soul. From the core to the floor. The feeling of being out of it in the thick of it. Barely conscious. But there's no forgiving it. We all feel it. But there's no mercy toward it. No excuses or acceptance for not getting our 8 hours. Mocked for sleeping early but reprimand for our tired mistakes. Good ol' tiredness. You gotta hate it.

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Day 2520 So end of another week and another month. As cliche as it is time truly moves quickly. Like I can't tell you where the last 2 months went and we're approaching April like a muthafucker. Like how are we don't with Feb already when January dragged along so much.

It's bittersweet when time flies, like I'm happy for payday and the like but hate how quickly things move. I'm lost for time and can barely do feel productive. Is life simply just coasting me by.

Is it something you need to snap out of in order to do something real and serious. This weekend for the first time in ages felt productive/slow and all in the same breath past by quickly. It's all rather confusing this whole time concept.

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