ChapterOne

Day 57 Today hasn't been too bad in all honesty, just super busy getting stuff done that I had literally no time but now to write this up, literally from start to finish. Woke up early as I slept at a good time. My usual 1:30am.

Day 58 I wanted to really do this ahead of time, ahead of the time now. Basically earlier is what I am trying to say but unfortunately that didn't quite work out as well I as had intention for. Mainly because I am getting sick, through no fault but my own and it isn't like the flu or corona but it's fatigue. Last night, as tired as I was,

Day 59 Well today I did something stupid, I misread something and it led to me waking up earlier than I needed. Which was and let's be real such a rookie mistake, honestly so dumb, I can't believe I did that, and then when I re-read it, I wasn't mad, hell I wasn't mad when the neighbours where drilling into the earth at an unGodly hour. I just turned my side and tried going back sleep, which I did successfully might I add lol.

Day 60 I don't have much to say about today, it was a depressing day, preceded by a depressing night. Had one of those 'I feel nothing' days and night before. I honestly don't know what triggers these moments, I had been feeling off most of the week but I still was happy to an extent, by Friday night for whatever reason felt like I had a gapping hole in my chest. I felt empty and stuck but not necessarily alone. I didn't feel like that but I wanted to be alone but at the same time I wanted to escape myself, my life and where I was at that moment.

Day 61 Today was more of the same as yesterday, although I did feel somewhat better, rather do, feel somewhat better today than I did yesterday. I even did some light exercise in the garden which always feels good and tiring. last night I slept a bit later than usual but it was Saturday so I was guaranteed a lie in.

Day 62 Today I woke up earlier than I wanted to, mainly because I forgot to change the time of my alarm, like before going to sleep I said to myself that I really need to do so, Lo! and behold, I didn't and woke up at too early and it was horrible, my eye bags are looking worse and my eyes are increasingly bloodshot. I feel like they're super swollen. Also my body has been feeling more sore and stiff, I really need to restart my yoga and keep my body active or something! I need to do something!

Day 63 Today, today has been different to the last few days, mainly because I slept at a good time, I woke up just before my alarm and had a nice lay in for about 20/30 mins. I then proceeded with my usual routine of washing up, showering and not interacting with anyone before 12. Which really freed up my mind to think about other things and relax and ponder about me and life as a whole.

Day 64 All the days are honestly starting to merge into one big day again. Like a reoccuring weekday, not even a weekend and it is starting become a nuisance. Everyday is becoming increasingly busy and things are really starting to annoy me, it should be a fairly simple fix but it is so damn annoying because it should have been resolved by now.

Day 65 Today I woke up at a decent time, 15 minutes after 11 in the morning, I couldn't lounge in bed as I usually do because nature came a-calling and it wasn't a pleasant one, hell it hasn't been pleasant all morning (all because of the KFC!). I've been a number of times already since I've been awake and that's only been around 2 hours now.

Day 66 Today is a weird day if I do say so myself. I feel tired, drained and exhusted, I'm quite dehydrated and very stiff. I've had this weird on and off again headache which I haven't enjoyed at all. I slept very few hours and have had a fairly busy day dealing with IDIOTS but beyond all that, I feel a strange sense of calmness. Like I'm satisfied with everything yet I am on the cusps of a breakdown.