Day 2519 Sometimes, you just have to be big enough to say sorry. We get in our own little worlds and minds and we neglect everything else around us.

We, develop such a me Vs the world mentality and carry it everywhere with us. We can't see the grass from the trees. We can't see those who are willing to help us. Lift us. Carry us along the way. In the end it was I who achieved this feat.

Live. You know really live with those around you. Don't get upset or angry over petty shit. Really be the bigger man. Kill your ego, we really don't need that. Now I'm not saying be a pushover or be walked upon. But be kind to those you love, and admire. They're the only ones deserving of your kindness. So pucker down and admit defeat more often. You can't lose if they're sincerely happy.

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Day 2518 I honestly don't know what to write. I don't feel like writing. I just feel like lounging around doing nothing. I have no motivation for writing and expressing myself. I want to curl up and watch the office until I get sick of it. I want to feel warm inside my soul. I don't feel down or depressed. I'm feeling burnt out and I don't know why. Well I think I know why. I don't feel love. I don't feel lust. Maybe I am depressed and it's killing my desires. Why am I putting so much effort into others. I genuinely don't feel love from those who claim to do so. I should scale back and be appropriate. I don't know anymore how I'm supposed to live or act or be. I'm in love with love and I need it. Just don't turn out like me.

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Day 2517 It's one of those days. You know where nothing is quite right, things don't fall into place. It's not necessarily a bad day but not quite good either. An in-between, one of those days you much rather forget about and move right on but it has those annoying nagging components which you dwell on far too long.

It's been one of those days. I much rather forget about it. Hopefully I won't be able to look back at it.

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Day 2514 I'm quite happy with how I've managed to post what I owed, I got to write a few random pieces, I don't know if they're any good but they are now in the ether of the internet. I guess that's how you get better by posting your shit out there and see what sticks and what doesn't. Although I still feel like this platform is still a bubble, step removed from the mainstream, I also feel like the community is smaller than how it was during covid. Who knows really, I've been thinking about publishing beyond these walls and maybe going a bit more mainstream but there's always that aspect of fear holding me back. What if it truly isn't any good. But why should that matter deep down. I'm just doing this for the love of it. Realistically even if no one views this would it stop me from posting? No.

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Day 2513 Well more I hurt my back. I'm not even old but I hurt it bad, but not so bad where it's unbearable but bad enough where it hurts when I move. It's really annoying because it wasn't even the backs fault but another body part. I'm trying to get healthy and started working out again where this isn't ideal but it's annoying because it's not even the fault of a body part but an external injury.

Fucking fragile shit.

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Day 2512 What do I do when I don't know what to write? Do I post ramblings about my day to fill my quota? It's hard to always have insights on the fly. Do I post nothing and let that knaw at me? It's hard to be creative just like that...the words to come to me like they used to and when they do they're eager to leave me stranded. I find it hard to find the time to put thought to paper. Perhaps I need to be quicker with capturing them.

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Day 2511 So I'm aware I've been absent this past week. What can I say; work has been busy, home life has been busy so unfortunately those things took a bit of a priority. So I'm looking to get back into the swing of things and resume our regular scheduled programming lol

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