Day 2531
It's been a pleasant change, actually did something this weekend. In all honesty it was a very busy week. More outings than I'm used to. In my early twenties I used to go out 4/5 times a week and now I just about go once and that's only to break up my week. It's been quite a change, I really no longer have the stamina to walk around shops, and the like. My legs by the end of it are destroyed. Honestly.
But you know some stretching the night before and in the morning really help with the blood flow. Today I'm getting the urge again to go out and enjoy this really good weather we're having but we'll see.
#Chapter25
Day Naught
Where do we go from here?
Our life was filled with passion and excitement
Only for the rug to be pulled
Things have died down
And I'm stuck here holding on
Am I the crazy one
You know for not moving past it
Whilst you hold it down.
Am I the crazy one
To have moved on
Whilst you complain of neglect.
What did you expect
From this sort of ending
Did you not foresee this coldness
From back then
Or did you want your cake and eat it.
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Day 2530
It's been a struggle at times. Writing that is. I know I keep going on about the same nonsense. I feel like my writings of yesteryears was definitely more upbeat and positive. Whereas more recently it's like all I do is complain about something. I don't want to be that guy, I don't want to be depressed with no life. But alas, I am. I've been unwell as of late and I've had to work, never thought I'd be that guy. Mostly what I do is watch TV after work, never thought I'd be that guy. I've become so dry and boring. I honestly need to kickstart myself into gear. Let's just chalk it up to a long winter with its short days.
I'll try to be more productive this summer.
#Chapter25
Day 2529
It's difficult. You have an idea, this concept rattling around in your mind but you can never put it into action. What is it...do you think too big and too fast? Getting carried away and try to flesh it out. Or is it the fear of failure holding you back? The reality of you're actually not great or anything special at all, holding you back.
It's tough. The first step is scary, and unfathomable. You're happy for the ones who put it out there in the world, as you're unable to do so. It's hard. You're comfortable. That's never going to change is it. Even when life was tough. You couldn't do anything about it.
#Chapter25
Day unknown
It's cold here.
I don't know where to turn anymore.
I can't see beyond my hands.
I can't hear you.
Speak to me someone.
My heart hurts.
I can't breath
This pain is too much for me
I can't scream
They watch me
Dark and growling
From my bed I hear them
They're waiting for me
They're waiting
Pls
Help me
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Day unknown.
Part 1
Regression
Don't you feel as you've gotten older you've regressed.
Is it old age or tiredness?
Do you care less now or are you just not bothered?
The motivation is drained and left behind
As you leave behind your youth
The vigour
The struggle
The drive
Left at nature's doorstep
As we all seek out the divine.
Read more...
Day Naught.
Happiness.
How do you deal with it?
Do you kind it with kindness or ignore it?
Do you embrace it or fight it?
Happiness?
What's that you might ask
You don't acknowledge it nor do you accept it
It could never come to me as it looks into your eyes
How can I be happy when my life is like this
Sometimes it's the little things
But there's no point explaining it to you
For you can't experience it.
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Day 2528
Growing responsibilities suck. Honestly really suck. I was thinking about how vastly my life has changed over the last 10 years and it is insane. I now have rent, bills for a small token of freedom. Grow up and move out they said. It'll be good for you they said. That freedom just ties you down and you end up paying someone else's mortgage or being another stream of income for a bank. Now I'm not saying leech off of your parents but I'm saying be patient and don't rush into things.
When you're in your early 20s you want to rush and get ahead in life but I look back and think was it worth it. We all need money ofc but is the stress worth it. Sacrificing everything around you just to work doesn't seem like a good deal and I don't even work that hard. I've seen some people around who spent 90% of their day working. Just because there's nothing else to do.
It's sad I suppose but honestly I wish to make the next 10 years of my life fruitful. I rather be happy and healthy and enjoy my time even if it's wasting away watching TV. I shudder to think that I'll be waking up tired to go to work a job which I dislike, a life where friends and family was a focus but now I barely have time to rest.
#Chapter25
Day 2527
I'm in disbelief really. March is coming to an end. I know we all keep saying how quickly time is flying but damn February and March have breezed by. I couldn't even tell you what happened. Life is passing by so quickly and I'm actually over it. I feel like I've entered the boring phase of my life. People expect you to be doing stuff and adulting but like I'm over it. I want to be lazy after work and waste my days away.
Maybe that's why my days are fleeting....
#Chapter25
Day Naught.
Worse off.
I think I'm the good one, always trying to make peace.
The one who apologises first.
I'm ok with doing that, I tend not to get angry or annoyed often but it happens, we're human.
But why do I attract the moody ones. The frustrated ones.
Perhaps I'm like that too. Unable to express myself when I'm upset or angry.
But I try.
Unlike the other side of the wall. Just shut off until it blows over.
Over nothing either just some pettiness. How are you supposed to live with it forever. I suppose you just do. Those moments are fleeting. Between all the good ones.
Egg shells get pretty tiring to walk upon.
#TalesOfTheInbetween