RandomThoughts

Time. I feel like I never have enough of it. Like I had more when I was younger, a lot more free time when I was alone, endless summers. The 24 felt like something real. You felt each minute of the day.

Then you start working. Start cohabitating. The things you when you're broke and alone. But it's the natual trade-off. Less alone time and more together time. No more summer holidays just 20 days of leave.

After all that it just goes back. Endless alone time with endless summers. Unable to move like you used to but you have your peace and quiet. More broke and less responsibility but time counts down.

Until you're no more.

#TalesOfTheInbetween

Day 2532 Is it truly the old cliché of being overstimulated. Honestly the pits of boredom are truly horrifying. Like I don't know what to do and nothing is really interesting. The same old short format content or even long form isn't piquing my interest. It tends to be the case, very productive morning but the boredom hits you and it's like blergh.

Like where do you go from here. Just enjoy the ride and the rest will get figured out? Or do interesting things and keep riding the wave. It's truly alarming. I just don't have any more words for this subject. It's beginning to bore me too.

#Chapter25

Day 2531 It's been a pleasant change, actually did something this weekend. In all honesty it was a very busy week. More outings than I'm used to. In my early twenties I used to go out 4/5 times a week and now I just about go once and that's only to break up my week. It's been quite a change, I really no longer have the stamina to walk around shops, and the like. My legs by the end of it are destroyed. Honestly.

But you know some stretching the night before and in the morning really help with the blood flow. Today I'm getting the urge again to go out and enjoy this really good weather we're having but we'll see.

#Chapter25

Day Naught Where do we go from here? Our life was filled with passion and excitement Only for the rug to be pulled Things have died down And I'm stuck here holding on Am I the crazy one You know for not moving past it Whilst you hold it down. Am I the crazy one To have moved on Whilst you complain of neglect. What did you expect From this sort of ending Did you not foresee this coldness From back then Or did you want your cake and eat it.

#TalesOfTheInbetween

Day 2530 It's been a struggle at times. Writing that is. I know I keep going on about the same nonsense. I feel like my writings of yesteryears was definitely more upbeat and positive. Whereas more recently it's like all I do is complain about something. I don't want to be that guy, I don't want to be depressed with no life. But alas, I am. I've been unwell as of late and I've had to work, never thought I'd be that guy. Mostly what I do is watch TV after work, never thought I'd be that guy. I've become so dry and boring. I honestly need to kickstart myself into gear. Let's just chalk it up to a long winter with its short days.

I'll try to be more productive this summer.

#Chapter25

Day 2529 It's difficult. You have an idea, this concept rattling around in your mind but you can never put it into action. What is it...do you think too big and too fast? Getting carried away and try to flesh it out. Or is it the fear of failure holding you back? The reality of you're actually not great or anything special at all, holding you back.

It's tough. The first step is scary, and unfathomable. You're happy for the ones who put it out there in the world, as you're unable to do so. It's hard. You're comfortable. That's never going to change is it. Even when life was tough. You couldn't do anything about it.

#Chapter25

Day unknown It's cold here. I don't know where to turn anymore. I can't see beyond my hands. I can't hear you. Speak to me someone. My heart hurts. I can't breath This pain is too much for me I can't scream They watch me Dark and growling From my bed I hear them They're waiting for me They're waiting Pls Help me

#TalesOfTheInbetween

Day Naught. Happiness. How do you deal with it? Do you kind it with kindness or ignore it? Do you embrace it or fight it? Happiness? What's that you might ask You don't acknowledge it nor do you accept it It could never come to me as it looks into your eyes How can I be happy when my life is like this Sometimes it's the little things But there's no point explaining it to you For you can't experience it.

#TalesOfTheInbetween

Day 2528 Growing responsibilities suck. Honestly really suck. I was thinking about how vastly my life has changed over the last 10 years and it is insane. I now have rent, bills for a small token of freedom. Grow up and move out they said. It'll be good for you they said. That freedom just ties you down and you end up paying someone else's mortgage or being another stream of income for a bank. Now I'm not saying leech off of your parents but I'm saying be patient and don't rush into things.

When you're in your early 20s you want to rush and get ahead in life but I look back and think was it worth it. We all need money ofc but is the stress worth it. Sacrificing everything around you just to work doesn't seem like a good deal and I don't even work that hard. I've seen some people around who spent 90% of their day working. Just because there's nothing else to do.

It's sad I suppose but honestly I wish to make the next 10 years of my life fruitful. I rather be happy and healthy and enjoy my time even if it's wasting away watching TV. I shudder to think that I'll be waking up tired to go to work a job which I dislike, a life where friends and family was a focus but now I barely have time to rest.

#Chapter25