Day Unknown The Hiatus
Well, I'm back, well only kinda.
I'm well aware of how I left things, and it was sort of in a weird place to be honest. But I found myself not wanting to do anything at all. Between work and feeling depressed and unmotivated; I became sort of off. I don't know what the best term would be but after I was done with work, I really didn't want to do anything else after that and being in lockdown certainy fed into that desire.
I feel like I've hit a boiling point now in my life where I want to do more but I am being stopped by my own laziness at the same time. I'm sort of at a cross roads with myself and it is fustrating. I want to plan stuff out but at the same time I can't bring myself to plan anything. I know I have a lot of things I need to put into place before that, I know I want to do it. But I can't.
At the same time I know what sort of person I am, if I want to do something I need to just do it, I can't be pandering around hoping for a stroke of motivation to uplift myself and resolve all my issues.
The first thing I definitely need to do is: Clean Shit Up. Tidy all the shit around me, then start planning and structing. I mean, I've done half of that but I need to complete the other half. I also need to start utilising a planner of sorts. Otherwise my life is a literal mess.
I also started watching Casey Neistat recently, literally last couple of days and I must say that dude is amazing. His videos are amazing, he seems to be an awesome guy and he captures things so well. It's one of the things that is getting me (for a lack of a better word) motivated, actually no, he causes me to admire work. Some may say art. But I'm going to use work because its his work at the end of the day and he enjoys and likes it and he pursues it. I have shit I want to do in the written form whether it be comics, poetry, opinion pieces, I should pursue it.
It also makes me want to capture things in the audio form, whatever that may be I'm not sure but I feel like I have a voice that may be useful. I'm not too keen on the video format so that's something I don't really want to delve into.
In conclusion, I will continue with my hiatus thus ending chapter one.
Stay tuned for chapter 2.