Day 2538
Life is really rather interesting at times isn't it. A few months back I complained and was slightly upset over a project my friend was doing. It wasn't jealousy or ill-will but me being moany about the situation. Shortly after we asked me to work with him in an official capacity. Now things are moving really quickly. It feels kinda surreal and honestly until it comes into fruition it'll feel fake. So just working hard on getting things into gear with the hopes of it coming real.
But it's a lesson to me, if you want something no matter how small or unrealistic just go for it. What's the worst that can happen; you don't get it. But at least you won't have the regret of going for it. I know it's suuuper clichy but there's truth to it ultimately.
What else can I say. Not much else is coming to mind. I need to be stricter when it comes to my sleep I know that for sure. But it's difficult feeling like you don't have enough hours in the day for yourself. It's like it's just work then home. Maybe the trick is to start sleeping at the same time every day and waking up at that same time too. We'll see. 11:30 to 7:30 ain't half bad.
#Chapter25
Day 2537
Now wait. Chill. I'm not late or anything like that. I'm only writing 3 days a week – scheduled. If I wanna write more then I can but it's not expected of me! Okay! Gaawwd!
Okay awkwardness aside, I've been tired. Like real tired. On top of that I never wanna sleep on time which ruins everything. Everyday I'm awake at the same time. 7:30 but the time in which I sleep fluctuates massively. Recently has not been great but I manage generally however recently I have not been managing and it's really adding up. The sleep debt that is. Which I don't really see myself repaying. Which is causing issues for me. Annoyingly.
In other news I wanna go home and chill. Work has been annoying in particular this task I've been working on. Like shit does not wanna work and I hate that it doesn't. Honestly pain in my asss.
That's all I got folks. I'm tired ok.
#Chapter25
Day 2536
Well. Well. Well. Look at that. We made it. Back to back posts and right on schedule. Who would have thought it was so fucking hard to post consistently. But hey, we're here now and better than ever.
It's quite interesting the various states of mind we go through throughout the day. At work I felt a certain way, frustrated and tired. Then on my way home worried about my mum and how she is. Once I got home I was deflated, not wanting to do anything but doom scroll.
Now I'm sat here reflecting on things, kinda at peace, removed enough from work and better knowing my mum is recovering. It's time for dinner soon and I want to work on my homelab. Before I know it, 4 hours will pass and it'll be time for bed.
All to repeat the cycle again.
#Chapter25
Day 2535
What a day. Honestly been such a long day. Started off yesterday really. I slept ¾ hours then had a driving lesson first thing in the morning. A coffee in the morning got me awake but started off before even that.
So I couldn't sleep. I gave up trying for a bit, started watching a film. I find if I don't sleep before 12 then I don't sleep till 4. Don't ask why. Then I eventually slept and woke up. Just about but I was on time. I showered, ironed and got ready on my way to the station I thought lemme check the trains real quick. Cancelled. The first half of my journey. I ubered half way.
Then the lesson. It was supposed to be 2 hours but he forgot and it was an hour. I didn't mind it tbh it was good and I'm making progress.
Then I went to my parents. Everyone's all good. Lunch with the parents but before that an hour talk turned lecture turn old granda wisdom.
Lunch. It was tasty I'm not gonna lie, 4 of us are having fun and vibing, walking about London. Then the fall. Parent fell and cut their face a but, honestly I...I can't describe it. It's still very much on my mind but thankfully all clear. Managed to de-escalate the situation and calm and everyone. Parent doing much better but still in a bit of a shock. As am I. Ordered an Uber to sent them home.
We stayed in London for a bit longer then made our way home. Me. Worried and still a bit shaken up. Home. Cold shower. Reset. Feel better then called parents they went to the doc and he's given the A-OK. Much more relieved. Ate Korean foods with Thai milk tea.
I sit here now just reflecting on the weekend. It's been really tiresome and stressful with work fast approaching tomorrow. But it's over now, it hasn't been one of my favourite weekends. Open the sparking water put on one of my favourites and vibe till 11:30.
#Chapter25
I've noticed as I've gotten older my ability to deal with stress is slowly getting worse. It's natural when you're young to not care about things, as the impact is quite minimal. But I feel when you're older and as you gain more to lose, and so on and so forth you become that much more inadequate to deal with things. Like I want to be better equipped but sometimes life moves so fast it certainly doesn't feel that way and you'll eventually get through it and it may or may not work out but you feel oh that wasn't THAT bad but when you're going through it, it feels as if the stakes are higher.
Idk. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but when you become response for an additional person and moreso, it at times feels harder to deal with. I've become less belligerent and more understanding. Perhaps to a fault. But yeah.
Idk.
I'll just be vaguer and nonsensical next time.
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Again. 2 days. I don't know what it is. Yesterday I was working from home and boyyy I was on a roll. I was working on shit for work then I was homelabing tf out of my new setup. I've almost finished setting things up, then I got my Gemini pro limit (I'm assuming for the month?? Or day??) It's honestly made life so much easier, the perfect assistant and it's creating documentation for me on the fly so fucking amazing! Things that would have taken me months I'm managing to hang out in days.
But yeah back to the office today and it is suuuper dead honestly, idk why I'm here but is what it is. I can work on some shit and fix on some other shit. I hope to post more often until I close the gap but honestly it's going to be a busy weekend.
So until next time.
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Okay. I've managed to close the gap to only 2 days since the last post. I am trying to back fill these posts which you think would be easy but it's not. It's not that I don't want to write shit but sometimes I do forget, or it's a lack of free time I'd say. Either way it's just an excuse which I really need to straighten up.
Also random thought. Aren't toilets just weird like especially here, where I am. Just give me some water to wash my ass. It's not that hard!! Honestly pisses me off. Ontop of that no soundproofing. The poor folks near me hearing the grotesque sound of the waste exiting my ass.
So yah I am trying to figure out a new writing schedule; something like 3 days a week for me is perfect I feel. So here's hoping I manage that difficult task!
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Where does the time go. It's already been 4 days since my last post and I swear to you I do think about writing and uploading but I get so distracted and busy the moment is gone. It's actually insane, I do need to tie the ol'camel and make note of the fact that I need to get this shit done.
Here's to a full week of posts my boy!
#TalesOfTheInbetween
As I lay here awake.
Until to meet my maker.
Perhaps in a state.
In which I am not worthy.
I offer forgiveness and humbleness.
But perhaps I am not worthy.
Rest evades me.
As my eyes become hollow.
Knowing full well what comes tomorrow.
It's almost as if I cross the barrier into an unknown realm.
Marred by insomnia.
As I lay here aware.
Are you able to relate.
#TalesOfTheInbetween
Honestly getting injured is such an inconvenience, it's been 3 days going onto 4 and damn still not 100%. On top of all of this I can't even rest from home because work is so bloody busy.
I should be back to my normal routine by Thursday and full health by the weekend. One can be hopeful so gotta keep an eye on things.
#TalesOfTheInbetween