Day 2533 I always go through this. I never know what to write. Or how to structure it. I have been becoming a bit more uniform in the overall structure of things so I'll probably start doing templates and the like so we'll see.

I do need to update my about me page for the upteenth time, maybe I'll date stamp it so I can keep track. I've been also trying to start being a bit more proactive in exposing this blog but idk how I feel about it entirely just yet. I know I've been pondering it for ages.

I'll also be enjoying the long weekend so skipping the usual Monday post, just an FYI for the 2 people who actually read this. But yeah last day of the week, it should be quiet so looking forward to it.

Work has slightly gotten interesting, for the first time in ages so long forward to that. And I am really trying to motivate myself with starting my first draft for my book. Need that motivation!

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Day 2532 Is it truly the old cliché of being overstimulated. Honestly the pits of boredom are truly horrifying. Like I don't know what to do and nothing is really interesting. The same old short format content or even long form isn't piquing my interest. It tends to be the case, very productive morning but the boredom hits you and it's like blergh.

Like where do you go from here. Just enjoy the ride and the rest will get figured out? Or do interesting things and keep riding the wave. It's truly alarming. I just don't have any more words for this subject. It's beginning to bore me too.

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Day 2531 It's been a pleasant change, actually did something this weekend. In all honesty it was a very busy week. More outings than I'm used to. In my early twenties I used to go out 4/5 times a week and now I just about go once and that's only to break up my week. It's been quite a change, I really no longer have the stamina to walk around shops, and the like. My legs by the end of it are destroyed. Honestly.

But you know some stretching the night before and in the morning really help with the blood flow. Today I'm getting the urge again to go out and enjoy this really good weather we're having but we'll see.

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Day 2530 It's been a struggle at times. Writing that is. I know I keep going on about the same nonsense. I feel like my writings of yesteryears was definitely more upbeat and positive. Whereas more recently it's like all I do is complain about something. I don't want to be that guy, I don't want to be depressed with no life. But alas, I am. I've been unwell as of late and I've had to work, never thought I'd be that guy. Mostly what I do is watch TV after work, never thought I'd be that guy. I've become so dry and boring. I honestly need to kickstart myself into gear. Let's just chalk it up to a long winter with its short days.

I'll try to be more productive this summer.

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Day 2529 It's difficult. You have an idea, this concept rattling around in your mind but you can never put it into action. What is it...do you think too big and too fast? Getting carried away and try to flesh it out. Or is it the fear of failure holding you back? The reality of you're actually not great or anything special at all, holding you back.

It's tough. The first step is scary, and unfathomable. You're happy for the ones who put it out there in the world, as you're unable to do so. It's hard. You're comfortable. That's never going to change is it. Even when life was tough. You couldn't do anything about it.

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Day 2528 Growing responsibilities suck. Honestly really suck. I was thinking about how vastly my life has changed over the last 10 years and it is insane. I now have rent, bills for a small token of freedom. Grow up and move out they said. It'll be good for you they said. That freedom just ties you down and you end up paying someone else's mortgage or being another stream of income for a bank. Now I'm not saying leech off of your parents but I'm saying be patient and don't rush into things.

When you're in your early 20s you want to rush and get ahead in life but I look back and think was it worth it. We all need money ofc but is the stress worth it. Sacrificing everything around you just to work doesn't seem like a good deal and I don't even work that hard. I've seen some people around who spent 90% of their day working. Just because there's nothing else to do.

It's sad I suppose but honestly I wish to make the next 10 years of my life fruitful. I rather be happy and healthy and enjoy my time even if it's wasting away watching TV. I shudder to think that I'll be waking up tired to go to work a job which I dislike, a life where friends and family was a focus but now I barely have time to rest.

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Day 2527 I'm in disbelief really. March is coming to an end. I know we all keep saying how quickly time is flying but damn February and March have breezed by. I couldn't even tell you what happened. Life is passing by so quickly and I'm actually over it. I feel like I've entered the boring phase of my life. People expect you to be doing stuff and adulting but like I'm over it. I want to be lazy after work and waste my days away.

Maybe that's why my days are fleeting....

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Day 2526 Sometimes I don't know what to write. So I don't write and so I don't post and other times it hits me like a bolt of lightening. Then there are moments where it permeates for a couple of days and I'll jot it down. I understand it's my own fault because I dedicate no time to it like I used to in the past. It's like if I can be done in 3 mins or less I'll write and post if not then days until my next shitty thought.

I understand it's my own fault this is something I want to do but I dedicate no time to it. I feel like in the past it was very much on the forefront of my mind but as I've aged other priorities have gotten in the way. There are a few things I want to do but I feel like it get usurped by things that don't require much brain power. I get it, once I'm home from work I don't really feel like doing anything but honestly why? I know I have capacity but it just falls by the wayside, ultimately.

Much to think about, routines to tinker until I find my perfect one. Then that'll need changing too!

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Day 2525 We are indeed so fragile. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually. One tweak and there goes your life. Someone says something and there goes your offense. Let's be real you had no spiritually in the first place. We go about this earth like we mean something. We'll be dead before long. Forgotten by those ones who love us. Even those we cherish so much can be dead to us. Walk with some humility. Be sombre. Remember those below you. You never know who's going to handle you, Hereafter.

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Day 2524 Life truly has a habit of kicking you in the nuts unexpectedly, and then giving you immense relief. It's a struggle at times no doubt, the emotion have a field day and plan to ruin your day. Then there's the humans who try to ruin you. Self interest runs rampant. They get upset at you when you have their energy. Then the tests come after that to guage your reaction. It's a shitty situation but that's where your emotions need to be under control. But mine were not in that moment but I handled it better than last time.

Sometimes you have malicious ways to deal with it but it's better to let it go and be normal. An unbothered attitude is the best attitude one can argue. Especially when it isn't that deep. Stoop to their level. But there's no need to go further.

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