Day 81 This have turned more into post updates than day updates because I always miss the day by an hour or so but then again I don't really count a new day until I sleep and wake up.
Well not much happened today, I woke up after 6 hours of sleep I have to say it was some good and comfy sleep, I think it is due to the fact that I changed the blanket I sleep on, it's a lot softer and warmer which is why I suppose it works out as the days get colder. So when I woke up I found it strange that it was so quiet in the house especially at that time and ontop of that no one came and woke me up. There was just this eerie quietness filling the house.
After I washed up and left the bathroom, my grandmother came into my room and she seemingly just woke up also (which isn't unusual, she needs her naps) then she told me that everyone had gone to my Brother-in-Law's as his Mum's mum passed away, in order to pay their respect to the family.
I went down and so did my grandma, my sister was home also, so we had our jokes and laughs, ate breakfast (yes it still counts as breakfast at 4pm) I came back up to my room, layed down for a bit then hear knocking at the door. It was my uncle and aunt, they stayed for about an hour or so and mainly spoke with my grandma as I just annoyed my sister (I mean, it is my job as the youngest sibling) they left and I came back to my bedroom. Until I was called down again.
This was about 6pm, I put the tele on for her and she happily watched her dramas, my sister was now wanting dinner as she ate way before any of us, so I got her some KFC and she ate that. I then finally returned to upstairs, and proceeded to look for a movie that I wanted to watch.
I decided on watching Juno, I had it ready to watch, but I swear it took me like 40 to 50 mins just to get past the first 8 minutes because I just kept getting interupted and it was so annoying. Like I wanted time to decompress from my shit earlier in the morning but I was having to deal with the shit everyone else was throwing upon me.
Then I went down around 8ish to see if my grandma was hungry, I ordered her some food and by the time it arrived (which wasn't too long) my parents and co had arrived (quite early) gave my grandma her food and I came back upstairs.
Then I started watching the film properly and by the time I got half an hour in, I got hungry and ordered myself some food. But it took the absolute piss in terms of how long it took to get here which was a pisstake. But the food was real good and I finished the food, the movie, got a call to jump out but I refused. Was talking to some friends about an idea I had, so it was decent.
After Juno, I've just been watching some Hellsing, since it's on Netflix and it has been awhile since I saw it last. Hellsing OVA not the shitty tv anime. Man it's so good, literally half way through that now and decided that's enough as an episode is 45-50 mins long.
Then proceeded to start writing this as I didn't wish to write it at 4 or 5 in the morning and to be honest I don't want to be awake till late as I have to deliever a presentation for new starters at 10. Which is such a drag, as I have to wake up at bloody half 9 or something.
But that's been my day, not much going on but kept busy in bullshit and by others' problems I suppose which added further stress to me, as I felt like I was at full capacity mentally and didn't wish to deal with anyone else's. I haven't gone into my breakdown from this morning on purpose, mainly because I am still processing it and secondly I think I am coming to terms with things, there was another point but it has since left my mind. That's it, it is still playing out, and I want it to play out further but at the same time I don't want it to consume me, if that makes sense. My breakdown isn't over yet because I don't have time to have one.
These next couple of days or weeks will be vital on how I react to things and whether or not I allow myself to breath and allow things to play out as opposed to hitting pause because of something else.
We'll see. But that'll be all for now.