Day 8 Today was especially difficult to wake up, mainly because I slept at 3 which I haven't done in awhile. I did watch a film for the first time in ages, it was enjoyable but it did infringe upon my routine which isn't ideal for my new attempted routine. But I managed to stay off of my phone, gave my mind its due right to think. If it's spent occupied in chat then it has less time spent on thinking. Granted this blog as been on the ol'noggin quite a bit, so I do wish to start focusing on other things and projects I have in mind.
Most of my day was occupied with work and to be real these are the days I find the most difficult, the feeling that my life force is being drained for someone's dream (yes, I know its rather cliché) but it's rooted deep within me, the need to do more. I need to start taking things more seriously. I need to dedicate more time to things I feel merit them, however I can't be overwhelmed at the sight of anothers' success. Its quite the predicament.
I spoke with someone who's ideas are starting to kick off, and for sure I feel over the moon for that and want the best for it, but within the depths of my chest I do feel uneasy because it forces me to look within myself and all I can feel and think is “What're you doing?” I've been complacent and far too easy going. Which I find myself noticing a lot but it isn't enough to question without action. I have the feeling of escaping and running away but what good is that when I can do things of good.
I feel at a loss, I feel annoyed with myself. But I am trying to change for the better, although life can be fustrating.
Don't you get that feeling; that you were destined for something great.